Sometimes I just feel the need to brain barf. Do you know what I mean? I just feel like writing all the things going on in my head. They don't really need to fit into any cohesive framework or solve any problem or mean anything to anyone in particular....or even make sense! (And sometimes they really don't make sense. And when I read them later I think to myself, "Self, why did you write that?") But, I just want to think and write and get it all out. Perhaps its like a colon cleanse, only much more pleasant. See? Things like that. Should never be said...but, I'm brain barfing, so it doesn't matter! That's the beauty of it all. So, fair warning: you probably shouldn't read the rest of this post. Leave now while you can! It may be long. It may be ugly. It may be annoying, or slightly embarrassing, or incredibly boring, or none or all of the above.
I'm grateful today for many things! First, my niece-in-law (how many of you can say you have one of those?!) for inspiring me to be full of gratitude. Winner. Let's just say that FAMILY is one of the most awesome things...ever. Seriously. Think about all of the things that bring you great joy or the most meaningful experiences in your life - don't they mostly all involve family? If they don't, I find that sad. We had the missionaries over for dinner the other night and we talked about the importance of families. I think most people, me included, don't really grasp how important family is - and maybe that is why we don't spend the time and effort we should in building and maintaining really good relationships with them...just sayin.
Other things I am grateful for:
clean blinds (they were SO gross and I really feel a sense of renewal...)
friends to be with at the park
a roof over my head and a really nice house that we pay fantastic rent on - blessing!
freedom to worship as I please
people who think long and hard and come up with novel solutions to long standing problems
my wonderful husband (I'll spare you the lovey-dovey list of great qualities for now)
laughter from my cute cute girls...which makes me want to just say:
I have the best little girls EVER! I know I am completely biased and that's okay because they are mine and I can think they are awesome and adorable and hilarious in ways that others just can't appreciate. That being said, I hope to be the kind of mother who adores her children with a firm grasp on reality as well. You know the moms who think their children walk on water and can never ever do anything wrong? Lame. I hope to never be like that. But I also think that to be a good mom you really do need to have on some rose colored glasses, to look past mistakes, to see the potential and intent of your children and to forgive and forget as quickly as they do. I think you need to love them in all their quirky stages and annoying habits and take joy in each day with them! One of my sisters is SO good at this! She really just loves being a mom and taking care of her kids and so what happens? She is more patient, more understanding, more forgiving, more fun! I want to be like that. Not like every day will be a basket full of sunshine and daisies, but I think attitude makes an incredible difference! Well, I digress. I really just wanted to say that I love my little girls and I am so grateful they are in our family! They are so good and it is so fun to watch them learn and grow. Pepper says things all the time that amaze me and crack me up and make me grin. Today while she was in the bath I read from the Book of Mormon (I was admittedly trying to multi-task and get her in bed sooner...why? So I could brain barf on the internet? ...no. I think I had other plans. Can't remember exactly what they were...but, in my defense, I was really effective today! Maybe that's why I feel the need to do this mindless exercise). I always ask her after we read what we learned and then talk about what we read. So I said, "What did we learn?" She says, "Jesus." "What about Jesus?" She pauses and says, "umm...follow him!" Yes! I love little things like that. I know others probably don't care about all the things she says all day, but if I could, I would just write all of them down so I could remember them because I think she is so fun and so funny! I guess that is a mother's prerogative (btw, did you know that is how you spell prerogative?! Weird.)
I got some new slippers from Kohl's for Christmas. Yes, Christmas. All of our Christmas shopping is done and opened. We're so lame. Or poor. Or both. But, regardless, they have changed my life. It is stinkin cold on hard wood floors and in Cleveland...and I just feel like a new woman with these little pieces of heaven on my feet.
The last few days have been really nice weather, nice change, and I have been taking advantage of it by running with the girls everyday. LOVE it! Love my double jogger. Love that I got it for a screamin deal on Craigslist. Love that my girls love to be in it. We've gone to the park almost every day this week and I have met some really nice people there. It's fun to meet new people and see what they are like. I think I am so used to the kind of people that I am normally with that I forget there are so many other kinds of people out there...and they are cool! And nice. I like that.
A friend of mine and I have been meeting once a week and clogging. It's been so fun to get back into it and remember steps and learn a dance. I remember why I love it so much and that it really is great exercise! I know this is super lame (I feel like I have used that word a lot in the last few minutes), but I really want to learn a dance and perform it. I miss performing! Maybe I am vain and want it all to be about me or something! But, I just love to perform and I really miss being on stage. That is not to say I am the best performer or anything. I am sure many would be quick to tell me that I am not. But, I love it. and miss it. And, I think I will just learn one and make my sweet husband and girls watch. ha ha! The JOYS of family! AGAIN!
That's it. It worked. Now my brain has turned off and I don't want to write anymore. Now I think it is time for some Raisin Bran. Lately I just can't get enough of the raisin bran. That, and it's past 10 pm which means I am suddenly ravenous.